Now Playing: The World Should Revolve Around Me- Little Jackie
Topic: RACE
Last night I visited a local mall with my older sister and a few of her associates. Although shopping for clothes often turns into a self-loathing pity party once I realize that the size I was last month can no longer contain my, ever-expanding bottom half.
Well on this particular night, I broke into frenzy, a shopping orgasm, which quickly ended with one comment. "Your sister sounds like a white girl". That comment was made to my sister in regards to my over exuberant voice. The comment has been equated with my name many times in the past, leaving emotional scars and feelings of resentment towards certain people of the black community. However, I took the comment in stride and continued with my shopping fiasco, yet the comment still left a bitter taste in my mouth.
Growing up in the suburbs for most of my life, I have always found myself as the "token black girl" amongst the sea of white faces. Yet I was taught that race was simply a characteristic and not a look, sound or style. I must admit that my racial distinction was made even clearer when I attended a predominantly white private school in the woods of Princeton. Yet even then, I was always sure that I was black and they were white.
I have been the only black person at Bar mitzvah's, sweet sixteen's, and plenty of classrooms, yet I have never ensued any other racial identity other than black. It is only in the company of those who look much like myself that my "lack" of racially associated characteristics identity was pointed out.
It is situations like this that make me wonder if racism stills exists because of two separate groups, or the separation within one racial group.
My mother always prided herself on being able to hide her thick Jamaican accent, because she believed it held her back in life. Yet she gloats even more when people praise her for the wonderful speaking skills each of her daughter's posses. However, many schools fights and trips to the principals' office have occurred as a result of these "wonderful speaking skills", dirty stares from girls in the hallway who think you are "trying to act white", and comments from boys that assume "you think your better than everyone else". Yet the most ironic part in this situation is that I am a young lady with dark a complexion. So even in my "desperate attempt to act white", I could never come half as close because my appearance says otherwise.
It is my hope that when I decide to have children they will find friends and live in community where educated and successful people of color are not a minority, but a normality.
"It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those dirrerences."
- Audre Lorde
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